I don’t know if it is absurd to think about this, but it has been crossing my mind a lot… and my mind actually fancies the idea.

The idea of livingΒ my life waayyyy differently than how I’m currently living.

What if I were to just…..

~ delete all of my social media accounts?
~ move somewhere new? somewhere distant?
~ give my all in a dream job and/or just in my dreams in general?
~ make new friends – a circle of friends completely different from the ones I have now?
~ be the free-est, truest & purest version of me?
~ start over my life anew as a brand new person?

Because the fact is that I’m not even doing half of those things now. “So why bother with the change?”you may ask.

Well it’s something about the idea of living my life in polar opposite which seems attractive, in the sense that it representsΒ novelty at the highest level, but at the same time, it’s still a reality. A reality so divergent and possible.

I guess that is what it means when people say, “The best way to predict your future is to create it” and “You are the captain of your ship.”

But I did think about what will happen if I were to do that. Will I be happier? I know for damn sure that the changes will be beyond surreal; I’ll experience a myriad of things, I’ll be exposed to situations I’ve never come across. But do I want all that? Yes… maybe.

If you were to ask me whether I have imagined a different reality, then I’d say yes. In fact, more than 1 version of reality. In one instance, I’ve imagined myself moving to (insert a country), working and pursuing my degree there, and then travelling around the world. There’s another instance where I imagined myself being completely religious, and being the second Mother Theresa meets Wonder Woman, going around the world spreading Islam, helping the needy and eventually settling down in the suburbs of Mecca/Medina.

Aaaand a few other instances, but with roughly the same context/concept: travelling the world, living my goals and dreams, helping others, and just live. Live as freely as I can be.

I’m afraid to say that these imaginations of mine might just be how I wish to live my life like, how I wished to be as a person – but I’m afraid because I’m currently not at that stage (yet) and I don’t know if I ever will achieve that reality.

What I do know now is that I am willing to make that reality happen one day (hopefully!!!) and that I’m making decisions day by day, step by step closer to it. I don’t know whether my future will paint a similar picture as my imagination(s) or not, but I will make it a meaningful one πŸ™‚

 

Nadira Shirlonna

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