Taking Risks


There’s an old adage that goes, “It’s better to be safe than sorry.”

This saying has been around for centuries and have been instilled in the minds of our grandparents – some even to our parents. And of course, what a parent knows, they tend to teach them to their young. While that adage may be a safe sanctuary to some, it may not be a desired route for others.

There are some individuals out there who have challenged this advice and did just the opposite – They took risks. They gave everything they’ve got because they believed that they have nothing to lose. And they remain focused till they get what they were aiming for.

Some of whom are self-made millionaires, some quit their jobs to travel the world, some decided to move to a rainforest and build their own functional treehouses, away from the city’s bustling nature, some set up a recycling movement to help build homes for the homeless and the less fortunate, and so on and so forth.

I’d be lying if I say that I’m not inspired.

Like some others, I come from an average household, and have learned to live without many things. Some things would be regarded as a luxury for me, and while all my other peers have them, I learned to live without those things.

But what I do have, though, are my goals and dreams that have been developed around my family’s experiences and struggles, as well as through witnessing what is happening to the less fortunate & innocent people around the world. Because of my goals and dreams, I keep going strong at making myself be constantly motivated to achieve them. (Slowly, but surely.)

And that would involve taking risks. I’m aware that some of the risks are not going to be small or easy. They can be energy-draining, time-consuming and requires consistent effort. But that is exactly what I’m willing to put in – and be devoted to. I acknowledge that my goals have become one of my biggest priorities in my life.

I used to be afraid of taking risks, but my mindset changed when I introduced myself to some really powerful books – which encompasses the untapped human potential in us, taking control of our lives and situations, as well as to not be afraid of failure and of fear itself. Instead, let failure be a motivation to succeed. Fear, on the other hand, has never been helpful anyway, and you can choose to rise above it, overcome it and strive for what you want.

I write this in hopes that our dreams, accompanied with brave actions will determine a fruitful learning journey in our pursuits, and eventually towards success. 🙂

 

Nadira Shirlonna

Letting Go: Difficult But Worth It


“How is it that a person can be so happy after letting go of someone? Especially of someone that has hurt me.”

If you’ve ever thought about this, then we were in the same boat, just like many others. We met someone, contacted, met up again several times, and then something happens, and you both were strangers again.

That kind of scenario is nothing short of typical. But the heartbreak that resulted in the aftermath, is nothing short of bearable. Damn. I feel you. But don’t worry, I got you.

As I’m writing to you, know that for my case, I’ve fully recovered from the said heartbreaks and I’ve become more positive & open-minded in the light of my recovery process. I now know better what (kind of partner & relationship) I want and what I don’t want. And that’s what I want to share with you who are still aching, with hopes that you may one day be a lifted and happy soul that you’re supposed to be.

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Usually when we’re experiencing a breakup/split, our natural instinct will almost always direct our minds into finding someone new as replacement. We think that by doing this, we will be loved again, we will be fixed, and we will forget and move on from the one that got away.

But news flash: That is not going to work.

Maybe you’ve seen someone else doing that and succeeding – they seem happy. But deep inside, whether or not they’ve fully healed or are fully happy, is another story that is hidden. This method will never fully heal you, because the lost love that we’re trying to find isn’t found in others, but from ourselves.

If you feel like you need someone so badly just to be happy again, or just to feel loved, or feel whole, then you need to realize that you’re not whole because you lack of self-love. It is the single most important and best love you can have, and you only need YOU to complete yourself, not someone else.

A partner is only that. A partner. He/She is only an ADDITIONAL individual that will give you ADDITIONAL love and companion. Keyword: ADDITIONAL. Which means, your self-love should be 100%, and your partner will give you the EXTRA 100%. It doesn’t work in a 50%-50% way, but rather, in a 100%-100% way.

Upon saying that, know that love isn’t supposed to hurt. Love only heals. So when you are still in pain, feed yourself with as much love as possible. It takes time – but that shouldn’t be a hindrance. I personally took a year to get over someone whom I felt deeply for. Others may take way longer, but trust time. It may leave you with scars, but you will be a much much better person who will find a much much better partner in the long run.

You are investing in yourself when you feed yourself with love. There is a quote that I created and was stuck with during my recovery process:

“Quality attracts quality. A good man is for a good woman. (Vice versa). Improve yourself so much that you will start seeing more good people come your way.”

Give yourself space, time, and immerse yourself with meeting friends, or new hobbies, and especially read up on self-help books. You need to also ACCEPT that the past is in the past, that you admit to any mistake(s) you’ve done, and research/read on how to understand humans better (psychology-related stuff.) Trust me, reading up really helps a lot. Read positive things and act positively constantly.

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I hope that the shattered hearts out there find peace and seek for the right ways to fully heal themselves before looking to be with someone new. May all the love be with you.

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Thanks for reading! 🙂

 

Nadira Shirlonna

Tick Tock, Says The Clock


“Tick tock”
Says the clock.

Which clock is it?
It’s the Biological Clock.
Time starts for you when you open your eyes,
when you take in your first breath,
and it goes on and on,
every single day.
Till the last tick tock – your time has stopped,
but not for everyone else,
their clocks still wind.

“Tick tock”
Says the clock.

Which clock is it?
It’s the Earth Clock.
A planet has its own expiration date.
But when? No one knows
Except for the one who creates it.

“Tick tock”
Says the clock.

Which clock is it?
It’s the Life Clock.
They say “Life is a race”, but is it really?
What are we chasing for so much in life,
And is it worth chasing?
Time waits for no man,
But are you waiting for something –
Or perhaps a someone? New career? New love?
When you’re busy waiting,
Death silently awaits.

“Tick tock”
Says the clock.

Which clock is it?
It’s the Death Clock.
When everything stops,
Every heartbeat, every clock
And all that’s left are debris and memories
Will your life be worth it?

When death approaches,
Will the tick tock stop?
Maybe, for clocks.

But time itself? 
We will only know
if we hear another tick tock
When all souls revive


Post Scriptum: This poem-story attempts to narrate the reality of life and death…. and perhaps even after death. It is, however, open to your own interpretations.

 

Nadira Shirlonna

Poetry: Perceive – Freedom of your own mind


In whose eyes shall we see
what’s right or what’s wrong
what’s beautiful and what’s ugly

When the mind tires
of being held captive
of being narrated
on how things seem

O you who thinks
Who feels and thinks
Haven’t you deliberate over liberation

The freedom to believe
To shape your reality

This world is yours
And in your own eyes shall you perceive

 

Nadira Shirlonna

How We Should Perceive Beauty


If you’re a beautiful person on the inside, then you’re automatically beautiful on the outside too. 

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However, the sad reality is that a lot of us grew up being judged negatively at least once before. It pulls down our self esteem, and made us insecure about our own skin or even features of our own body that we didn’t regard as “ugly” before these nasty comments started to change our perspective of ourselves. And that’s sad.

“If only humans look at each other’s souls instead of skin, then they’d be able to see what true beauty means.”

But fret not, there are definitely individuals out there who look at souls and recognize its beauty, and don’t judge others without fully knowing them. These people are rare, and have beautiful souls themselves. They are among the best kinds of people you’d want to meet and keep in your life.

The best people strives to make you happy, and they don’t look at how crooked your teeth are when you smile, or how your wrinkles form up at the side of your eyes when you smile, or how weird your laughter may seem when you laugh. They may notice all these things, though, but here’s the difference. The best people see them as beautiful, as a part of you. Their only intention is to make you happy, and they don’t care about ugliness – nobody’s made perfect anyway, and that’s absolutely perfect. They know that the necessary is happiness, and the unnecessary is focusing on skin.

If you’ve met someone with a beautiful soul, let them know how much they mean to you. Kind words cost nothing. And if you have yet to meet a beautiful soul, then be one. Why? Because you will feel happier with yourself. And because eventually, you attract what you are. So if you are a beautiful soul, that’s exactly what is going to come your way.

Thanks for reading and be sure to spread love – through actions, words or both – to just anyone. Stay beautiful 🙂

 

Nadira Shirlonna

Poetry: Parents


I don’t remember
The first time I opened my eyes,
The first time I felt human touch,
The first time I mouthed a word,
Or the first time I said hello

I don’t remember
The first time I was being fed,
The first time I was being bathed,
The first time I was given attention to,
Or the first time I was being hugged

As I grew up,
The years catch up on me
Quickly

As I grew up,
The years catch up on my parents too,
Too quickly

And through all these years,
I’ve seen my parents’ sacrifices
I’ve felt their love
And then I realized…

Before time stops us from growing,
I want to make sacrifices for them,
and let them know I love them too,

Before it’s
The last time they open their eyes,
The last time they feel human touch,
The last time they mouth a word,
Or the last time they say goodbye

Before it’s
The last time they were being fed,
The last time they were being bathed,
The last time they were given attention to,
Or the last time they were being hugged

 



“If you still have parents – whether in good or in bad terms with, seek forgiveness from them, shower them with love and be there for them. That is all they need from the children they gave birth to. Love them while you still can, and pray for their well-being & happiness.”

 

Nadira Shirlonna 

Poetry: Self-Love


I take it all in,
My cellulite, my stretch marks, my flabby parts

I take it all in,
The numbers on the scale, my graying hair, my pale skin

I take it all in,
My crooked teeth, my worsening sight, my hooded lids

I stand by the mirror,
I’m looking at me,

My reflection isn’t perfect
But I take it all in.

You have a huge capacity of love – for yourself, and for others.

Nadira Shirlonna

Of Abundance & Effort


“Life doesn’t spoon feed you. Ironically, all the food are already prepared for you. It’s up to you to do the feeding yourself.”

Just like how your dreams don’t work unless you do, it has been largely understood that effort is the “spoon” here.

What if I told you that most of what we want are in abundance? Especially money. Now this is not to induce you into being greedy or obsessed with materialism, but rather to motivate you into getting the things that you want.

The thing about money is that it has become a need for many generations. It is the sole determinant for us to even live on this planet. “Humans are the only creatures that has to pay to live.” We can’t argue with money’s existence – it has literally (& unfortunately) made the world go round. And most of our goals in life needs money eventually.

That dream house you want? It costs you money. That new car? It costs you money. Travel the world? Build schools? Buy new clothes? All requires money.

So how does one acquire wealth that is enough (or more than enough) to get to their desired things/dreams? First and foremost, we need to look at how we perceive money. Money should be regarded as a stepping stone to get to what we want or our final destination; money should never be our final destination. We’re going to use that money for other things, eventually. Let’s make good use of it.

Now to acquire wealth is not always an easy task, even though it may be easy to a few. A lot of factors have to be taken into account. Your efforts, the existing & future opportunities, the decisions you make in life, some say a bit of luck, as well as the belief that money is in abundance, etc etc. These things play their own roles, as with amongst other factors.

How does the rich get richer? Where does all that money come from? It is because they know that money is in abundance – in fact there’s enough money to go around for everybody, if only one makes the effort to seek and obtain it. And here’s the good news – We all have that one thing that enables us to enjoy this abundance. This very thing lies right smack in the middle of our heads – our brains.

This is easier to be talked about than to be put into practice, but it is possible. Look around you. There are still problems going on with the existing inventions. There are new problems arising in this world. Not everything has met with a solution/invention yet. There are tons of opportunities for us to take a bite of and many opened doors that are just waiting for you to put your foot in.

If you have that undying passion lying somewhere in your head or in your notebook which you’ve kept for ages in your bookshelf, maybe it’s high time you tap into it, sit down, and spend time with your brain and that idea of yours. You never know – that abundant pool of money might just be in your bank account in the near future!

Anyways, I hope you find the motivation and all the help you need to make your dreams come true and have belief that good things will come your way. I’ll end this post with the quote that bears repeating:

“Life doesn’t spoon feed you. Ironically, all the food are already prepared for you. It’s up to you to do the feeding yourself.”

Post Scriptum: If you’d like to have an interesting read on an excellent book that challenges people’s perspective of money and what you can do for yourself to create your own wealth, you may want to take this book: Rich Dad Poor Dad: What The Rich Teach Their Kids About Money That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not! for your perusal. It has transformed my mindset and mentality towards money entirely.

Thanks for reading!  🙂

Nadira Shirlonna

Passion & Hustle


“What I’m really terrified of is leading an average, ordinary life with a regular job and an invariable routine, planned holidays, an average household, fixed responsibilities and not doing anything different to be remembered by.”

Now I’m not dismissing people who are currently living their lives as mentioned above – just to get things straight. If those people are already contented with their lives, have found their meaning and purpose, then by all means – their lives are blessed. Success is only defined by one’s own meaning.

To me, success means happiness. If I have found (and executed) purpose over the course of my lifetime, then I will consider myself to be successful. I can safely say the same for some others out there as well.

We’ve heard of passion. We’ve heard of hustle. Of skills, knowledge, talent, work ethic, drive, motivation and the likes of those words. These things – these very things are usually the driving factors that determine how you will eventually reach your goals & dreams in life. Others have suggested that you need a combination of those factors and not just one. Mainly because the fire in you can easily die out if you don’t support/feed it with other important variables.

Some have even came up with “success formulas” deriving from the said factors, combining them – in an attempt to be working examples for the learning souls.

Passion + Serious Work Ethic = Success

Talent + Hustle = Success

Motivation + Skills + Learning Attitude = Success

And TONS of others. Truth be told, you will only know the “secret formula” or “success formula” once you’ve tried and tested them out. In other words, TO DO. Put in action into your plans, in whichever method you want, and learn from the process/results. I believe that is the best way for you to know what success (AND failure) feels like. From there, you can keep on trying and experiment other “growth techniques” until you get what you want.

Honestly, it’s easier said than done. But you’ll never know unless you try. Know this – your ideas are worth a shot. If you feel strongly for your idea(s), then go out there and find a way to make it work.

I remember two quotes that were really meaningful to me that they stuck with me ever since.

“The bold outwins the smart.”

“Hard work beats talent if talent doesn’t do any work.”

Of course, it isn’t fair to say that smartness is useless, but if you are smart, then pick up your courage and just go for it. Don’t forget to do your due diligence and planning prior, though.

As with all greatness that has been put forth into this world – inventions, for example, they don’t come by easily. But that’s the beauty of it. The hardships, the sweat equity, the challenges that you’ll go through will only help you to think and eventually perform better.

Let’s all strive to be more involved in what we love (passion), to do things for a good cause, finding our purpose, benefiting humankind and our planet, maximizing our potential, and helping others who are in need of help as we go cruise through this life. I strongly believe that each one of us are highly capable of great things if only we break free from fear, think more and take actions to achieve things.

I wish the best for all of you who are as hungry as I am and are passionate about what life has to offer. Remember, your mind is a powerful thing. With it, you are able to do great things. As Nike said it best, “Just Do It!”  🙂

 

Nadira Shirlonna

 

1st, 2nd, 4th Syawal 2016 – Eid Celebrations


(Corresponding dates: 060716, 070716, 090716 of Syawal)

It’s that time of the year again; the month of Syawal on the Islamic calendar, a.k.a. Eidul Fitri period where Muslims commemorate this month as reward of fasting during Ramadhan. (fasting month) Let’s give this month a warm welcome, as how we’d welcome the feet that step into our homes.

The usual activities that ensue will include asking for forgiveness, the visiting of relatives’ homes, and returning to respective hometowns to visit parents. (This may not be the same for every Muslim, as everyone undergoes different things in life.)

For my part, I do the above mentioned hustle and bustle, and am grateful to be able to meet most of my relatives this year with my family. Though, I regret having missed the chance to visit some of them – mainly due to a clash of clans – I mean plans. Hahaha.

But I guess it’s partly because the itinerary that was being prepared was packed with as many houses as we could “fit”, hence not allowing for any more houses to be dropped by. On the 4th Syawal itself, the whole visiting ended past midnight. But it’s okay, I’ll make the effort to visit those people either for the remaining weeks of Syawal or next year(s), In Shaa Allah.

Nonetheless, below is a mini gallery of my relatives and of yours truly for all three days!

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1st Syawal’s outift: Black
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With my bro
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2nd Syawal’s oufit: Red (Firebender haha)
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Grp pic at my uncle’s house
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4th Syawal’s outfit: Red again (Pakistani blouse)
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Grp pic: Males
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Grp pic: Females

For the most part, I enjoyed being in their company, the jokes cracked, the chatters, the smiles and the good vibes being spread around. I have cousins who are already mums/dads, and meeting their babies was a joy. (You can see 3 of them in the last 2 pics above) Soooo cute, I love all of them! *heart eyes*

I hope to also be able to meet those distant relatives that I probably have not met at all or only met when I was a baby. I tend to take these “meetings” quite seriously, because I’d like it if my families get together and know about each other, keep in contact and be merry.

As per my outfits, I have been wanting for so long to be able to don on a full Pakistani suit from head to toe, or better still, a Pakimanese (Pakistani x Malay x Chinese combined) outfit- alongside my whole family. I just want to be able to be in touch with my roots by being able to wear what Pakistanis and/or the Chinese wear (in terms of design) on special occasions, so having that wish fulfilled would be nice. I’d want to make that wish come true one day, hehe.

Last but not least, thank you for reading & I wish you readers out there (especially the ones who are celebrating it) a very happy Eidul Fitri!  🙂

Post Scriptum: Amidst all these happy moments, let’s not forget to spare a thought, a minute, a duaa for the ones who are not as fortunate to celebrate Eid &/ Ramadhan this year. May humanity progress for the good, may the souls find peace in these harsh times, and may Allah s.w.t. help them & save us all. Ameen.

 

Nadira Shirlonna

Post Ramadhan


06 June 2016 (Monday) – 05 July 2016 (Tuesday)

The auspicious month in Islam. Holy, beautiful and meaningful all in one, this is a period which comes with tremendous blessings, especially to those who practice religious acts during this month.

The older I get, the more I feel the importance of this month, and the more I want to make full use of it to become a better Muslim. Of course, this intention should not be limited to just this month, but for the rest of the months and years in my life.

Ramadhan 2016 has been a better one for me as compared to 2015‘s mainly because I did not fast during that year. I had (and still has) hiatal hernia and GERD, but the pain I experienced last year was terrible. Too painful till I had to opt for eating as per normal, a.k.a. not fasting at all. I hated not fasting, though. Apart from the stares that I got from the Malay stall owners when I order food, I felt bad inside as not being able to participate in fasting.

It really hurt me – much more than the gastric did. It hurt…. my soul.

So this year I told myself that I’ll fast by hook or by crook, unless I suffer too much. Thankfully, I disciplined myself in taking care of food restrictions, and equipped myself with knowledge of my condition and took actions to ease the pain. Alhamdulillah, I am able to fast for the most part. (I missed 4 days of fasting due to high fever.)

I still have yet to practice other religious acts, but In Shaa Allah I will start doing them. Slowly, but surely. I want to do them correctly, hence I’ll seek as much knowledge as I can prior.

Ramadhan 2016 had also been an emotional period for my relatives in Malaysia. They lost both their parents. Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi ra ji’un. It must be really hard for the children. I can only imagine how they must have felt and are coping with it now. I pray that they will be granted with good things and blessings amidst what had happened. They are strong people – that I am sure of.

One thing that I love about this year’s Ramadhan was that my family bonded better. I saw improvements in our treatments with each other and through our communication. I hope that I can contribute to making everything much better for my family in due time.

To all Muslims around the world, let’s aim to be better individuals & Muslims and do as much as we can for our religion and for humanity. Amin. Have a happy Eidul Fitri to you! Salam Mubarak, 🙂

Nadira Shirlonna

Matter in Question – Marriage (Part 2)


“I’m not afraid of getting married. I’m afraid of getting married to the wrong person.

To continue from Part 1 of this topic/blog post, here’s the second part of it. Part 2 will mainly be about the reasons why I don’t think I’ll be married anytime soon – maybe later, but definitely not soon.

I’ll just lay out the basic reasons, though. The more prominent ones, I’d say.

Reason 1: I want to stabilize my life first.
Stability. This can be arguable with some, but I feel strongly for this reason because I know damn well how my current living condition is like – what I’m going through and what my priorities are. I want to be committed in making my life proper first before committing myself to another individual. I don’t wish to be a burden to him, because I know that I’m not easy to be with in terms of quite a number of things – financial matter being the biggest cause. (I’m not complaining about my life, though hahaha.)

Reason 2: I want to focus on my priorities.
Goals & dreams, family, religion, self-improvement. (Not in order). I can safely say that having a lifetime partner is not of a huge priority for now. Keywords: for now. This doesn’t mean that I don’t care about my love life at all. I do. Just not for now. I have a lot of improvements to make for myself and my family. This is tied with reason number 1.

Reason 3: I’m not ready for a full-time commitment yet.
Okay I’m starting to think all my points are like repeated but just rephrased lmao. I’m not ready because I believe that a relationship/marriage is undoubtedly a lifetime commitment. I want to be 100% committed to my future spouse. Right now, I can only give like…. 30-40% commitment? This is not because I prefer flings or such. Haha hell no. I’m not ready because of Points 1 and 2……. hehe.

Reason 4: I haven’t met the right one yet.
Cliche level 9999. But it’s also the truth level 9999 too. At least for me. This one is definitely arguable. I guess what I wanna imply is that I haven’t met the one that I love deeply for and that loves me deeply too, the one that fits me as my partner and that I fit into his life as his partner as well. I believe you can tell when you’ve met the one. And I haven’t felt that yet. Maybe someday I will?

Basically to sum it all up, I’m not ready because I want to stabilize my life first and concentrate on my priorities before being committed to a married life. I’m pretty sure that many others share the same viewpoint as I do in this. Especially if you’re just in your early 20’s. I can’t say the same for all, though. Everyone has their own personal reasons that are unique to themselves.

To conclude this simple 2-parts post, I have roughly made plans for myself and I’m still figuring my life out. Marriage is not a game; it takes two fully committed and ready souls who will be spending their lifetimes together. And I want to make sure that I am fully ready and able to commit before jumping into the “marriage bandwagon.”

“Ask for things only when you’re ready to receive it.”

Heck how true that sentence is. For the single readers, I wish that you’d find someone you can fully connect with and may your lives be filled with sincere love, as I’d wish for myself 🙂

 

Nadira Shirlonna 

 

 

Matter in Question – Marriage (Part 1)


“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.”
– Tom Bodett

The wedding bells, the songs being played in the background, the smile on the guests’ faces, the determined yet loving look from your spouse-to-be.

Marriage.

There’s no doubt that marriage is a beautiful life event, a joining of two souls and a lifetime journey of love. But when it comes to the ones who are not yet experiencing it, how beautiful is it?

Sure, it is nice to see others getting married, especially if they are people whom you know or are close to. But when the golden question pops up towards you, it might not be as pleasant – even more so if the question keeps being repeated, or with a slight hint of demand to go with.

“When are you going to get married?” “When will be your turn?” Oh I’m sure you have a string of admirers ready to ask for your hand in marriage.” “Do you need me to recommend you someone?” “Oh wait in fact I do have someone in mind for you…” And on and on and on oh my god.

The best part is when they can even PREDICT for you when you will get married. “In 2-3 years’ time, I’ll be seeing you as a bride, no?”

……………………………….. NO.

The major champion comment I ever received was, “You don’t have to study that much – you’re gonna be in the kitchen one day anyway!” Wow. Let’s give that a round of applause, now shall we? *Sarcasm intended* Grrrr.

Don’t get me wrong, though. I don’t hate the idea of marriage, nor do I have any qualms about getting questions if I’m single or when I plan on having/finding a partner. I’m only annoyed when people start to insist that I get married – and soon – and to someone of their choice. Like…. is this my life or yours? Sheesh.

And these questions mainly come from older women – aunts, mum’s friends, distant relatives, and the likes of it. Again, I’m okay with them asking me casually. Just not when they start demanding me about it. There’s a fine line between those two. (Maybe it’s just me – maybe others have a high tolerance with these questions. I don’t know.) I don’t quite get why they’re so worried – does it have to do with my age? Like, “What if this girl gets old and she is still unmarried? Poor thing.”

I’m only 21 as of now. Turning 22. I know there are friends of mine who are married and already mothers, even. I congratulate their happy life events as much as I’d want my happy life events to be acknowledged in positive light by others in the future. I don’t cringe or think it’s absurd to make a life decision like that. No. Different people go through different phases in life, they are ready for different things, and have different ambitions – or duration of ambitions. Etcetera, etcetera.

For my case, I don’t see myself getting married anytime soon. Not in 2 years, not in 3. And I do have my own reasons for that. I have given thought about this – I mean I’m sure we all do at least once in our life. Whether you were dead sure in your own decision about marriage – well that’s a different story. For me, I’m pretty sure my decision is solid and something I’d stick to. The only thing that can change my decision is if:

  1. I met someone that can convince me otherwise.
  2. I somehow matured and realized that I want to change my decision for the better.
  3. My parents want grandchildren – and I want to fulfill that wish strongly.

I don’t know what else can change my mind but yeah. For now those 3 options are available.

As I’ve mentioned earlier, I do have my own reasons as to why I don’t see myself getting married anytime soon. I’ll write about those in another post – Part 2 of this topic!

For the readers who go through the same thing as I am – how do you cope with the repeated questions? What kind of answer(s) do you give them? Well, whatever it is, let’s embrace our beautiful singlehood while we still can. And save marriage for when it’s time.

You know, the good thing about having a blog/diary is that when you write posts like these, about your decisions, and when one day it happens, you get to look back at your posts and maybe smile at how right you were or laugh in tears at how wrong you were. Only time will tell. Let me know what’s your take on this topic in the comments section!

Till my next post, 🙂

Nadira Shirlonna

Difference between Zaqat (Charity) and Sadaqah (Donation)


In some religions, one of which being Islam, there are practices of charity and donation in which the people of worship will engage themselves in.

Zaqat (Charity) and Sadaqah (Donation) are two different things, though sometimes may overlap each other, but has a tendency to confuse some people. This post looks at both practices and aims to distinguish between those two.

Below is a video about Zakat, Sadaqah and purification from Shaykh Musleh Khan as he briefly elaborates on and explains these 3 things.

Zaqat in Arabic means growth, blessing, and purification. Sadaqah on the other hand, means sincerity,  i.e. it is a sign of sincerity of faith on the part of the person who gives it.

Zaqat is enjoined in Islam on obligation, and on specific things, like gold, silver, crops, fruits, trade goods and livestock, i.e., camels, cattle and sheep. Sadaqah is not obligatory on any kind of wealth; rather it is what a person can give, without any specific limits or guidelines. In short, zaqat is obligatory giving whereas sadaqah is non-obligatory and through one’s own will to give.

Zaqat is required to be done at a specified time period, whereas sadaqah can be done at any period of time, for as much of amount and as many times as one wishes.

Zakat can only be distributed to the recipients stated in the Qur’an (Muslim Holy Book), but Sadaqah can be distributed to anyone you see fit.

To give you my personal experience, while I was searching for an online donation site for the building of mosques, I chanced upon two options of buttons to click. One button is “Payment for charity”, while the other button is “Payment for donation.” All I wanted was to make a willing payment for the building of mosques, so I went ahead and clicked “Payment for donation.” Notice that I mentioned “willing payment”, so that should tell you that it is a donation.

While both are acts of worship, it is vital especially for Muslims to know the difference and make payments accordingly. This is because when you want to pay, you will have an intention which goes along with that payment. That intention plays a huge part in distinguishing what your payment is for – charity or donation.

This is tied to the passing of a Muslim when he/she still owes zaqat. When a Muslim dies and still owes zaqat, his/her heirs must pay it from his/her wealth, and that takes precedence over the will (wasiyah) and inheritance. For sadaqah, there are no such obligations with regards to it.

Zaqat is not permissible to be given to the rich or the strong and able to earn. Sadaqah on the other hand, may be given to the rich or the strong and able to earn.

However, despite the fact that sadaqah is not obligatory, it is highly encouraged to donate willingly as it cleanses one’s soul and also provides many benefits to the donor.

There are other detailed information on this topic of zaqat (charity) and sadaqah (donation) in Islam. You may find those details online and offline. This post aims to provide a brief summary on the keynotes that people should know in terms of their differences. Hope this helps, 🙂


Nadira Shirlonna

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